- Family, your wife and kids, mother, brother, grandma, grandpa...a special memory.
- Is it that special object that you have always wanted? A car, house, dog
- What about status? Is it your position at work, in the church, friends on Facebook or MySpace?
- What about money? Your bank account numbers, having the ability to be a big spender, having things that others may want or envy?
I know the list can go on and on. I'm not saying that anyone here is greedy...feel free to want, it is a human trait. Dream Big, Reach for the Stars, Swing for the Fences...
But today I am talking about happiness.
I have heard over and over again the "Be, Do, Have" Philosophy...Find out what you want to BE, find a person that is doing that, learn from that person, DO what they have done and are doing, and you will HAVE what they have. While that is all fun and nice, I think the implications there is that will satisfy one's thirst for happiness. That is FALSE.
In order to be happy, lets do some informal research around the globe from right here on the internet.
- First of all, find someone who is happy that is rich? Can you find him or her? (Bill Gates?) Now take someone that is not happy and rich...(Madoff or what about the South Korean guy?)
- Now lets find someone who is happy and poor? Have you been to a really poor place on earth? I find my friends in Kenya live on a dollar or two per day and they are some of the happiest people I have met in my lifetime. I have also been to Sri Lanka, one night I met a squatter and his son walking around...probably living on less than $1/day. They were happy too.
So, alright maybe that is too simple...but I am going to figure here that you are all in agreement with me that money alone cannot make a person happy. So that is the HAVE. A person's happiness is not dependent on what a person HAS. No THING or OBJECT can make a person happy no matter what you think or feel.
Let's go to BE. What a person does...can that make a person happy?
- In the past I think it is safe to say that the moviestar and sports superhero were the ones everyone thought had the happiest life. Let's look around...are these people happy? (Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, Brett Favre) there are tons more and I am sorry to pick on these if they are your favorite, but these are people that from an outside have are BEING what everyone thinks would make them happy and they are not happy.
- Now, lets look at the lowest of the low by society's standard. Will anyone agree with me here that we will take a homeless, unemployed person. I have met multiple of these in the US, Sri Lanka, and Kenya. Today I will share the story of the one I met over 10 years ago in Fort Collins, CO. All I know, is that he was homeless, he made it obvious...and through a series of proveidential events I was honored to buy him lunch. I forgot his name...I wish I could remember that because I will never forget what he said, "My mom always told me that God will only give you what you can handle. I have been homeless for 18 years, my favorite book is the Bible...but that got stolen a while ago. God must think I am pretty strong because He has given me a lot to handle." Than he looked me straight in the eyes and smiled...talked about his girlfriend, and how they were going to get married the next time they both could get a job.
Friends, what you ARE or strive to BE will not bring you happiness. Many people think of a certain position at work if they get this or are able to do that they will be happy. Friends, all that is done in vain. Nothing that you choose to BE can make you happy.
Finally, lets look at DO. For this part, I will focus on people and the good that they try and do. Maybe it is in their church, their neighborhood, with their family, or at school. Could it be a charity or a project to help others...I will not pick specific people out here.
Let's just face it and say that no matter how much GOOD a person DOES it does not guarantee them happiness. People can and have literally changed the world for the better and have gone to their graves bitter because they felt that they just did not DO enough.
Dear friends, it is not what we strive to do for good that makes us happy; it is not even the good that we accomplish that makes us happy. In fact, nothing that we can DO will ever make us happy.
Another point, no circumstance or event can make us happy either.
Wow, what a depressing post...
Have you ever heard of a man by the name of Viktor Frankl? He spent 9 days writing a book that has since sold over 12 million copies...it is called "Man's Search for Meaning". In that book he says that no event or circumstance can make a person happy...no thing can make a person happy...in fact all of that can be controlled and taken away by another person and even taken away by another person. In Frankl's mind the only thing that we can control is our RESPONSE to a given situation, our ATTITUDE. No one can take that away says Frankl.
If you do not know Frankl's background...check it out, he was a Ph.D. who spent time in Aushwitz, thats right a concentration camp. He says they took everything, they beat us, kicked us, yelled at us until there was no humanity left. The only thing that we had left was our CHOICE to RESPOND to the situation, in short our ATTITUDE.
How does this correspond to Voluntourism...we can talk about that tomorrow.
2 comments:
I have heard the saying "Life is too short not to be happy" in the past and always thought I agreeded with it. If you are unhappy then you should strive to be happy. Atleast that was until I understood that "happiness" comes with a price.
If you know what your happiness will cost and it is yours alone to pay, then it is your choice and hopefully your life will be that much fuller.
But what if your happiness will affect the people around you, friends and family, what price do they have to pay for your happiness?
Are they willing to pay the cost?
Do they have a choice?
If the price is too high for them then would someone truly be happy?
What if happiness was never depending on another person? You see as much as people try (or say they try) to do the right thing, inevitably we are still just people. From the Fall, humans have since been undependable, untrustworthy, selfish, beings. I think Frankl would say that happiness dy definition does not depend on others. Nor does it depend on events, circumstances, or objects. Yet, it is a state of mind, a decision, that in each and everyday there is happiness to be found. In my life, I have found one dependable source of happiness. As much as I love my parents, my wife, my daughter, my job, etc. they fail me everyday and most importantly to say here I too fail myself everyday. Therefore I know that my happiness cannot be found there everyday. Somedays and sometimes yes they bring me happiness, but we are people who make many mistakes and again I cannot depend on them or myself for happiness.
So, the cost of happiness in my mind cannot be paid by someone else...in fact as I write this I am not sure happiness even has a price. It is simply (but not easily) a choice of response to any given situation or circumstance. The choice is ALWAYS there, though often times it is hard to see. Much like our salvation in Jesus Christ, there is no price that we can pay to be saved. It is simply there for us whether we take it or not that is our choice (free will).
I certainly recognize that there are many things out there that I have not ever and may or may not ever experience so I can only take refuge in the thought that if other people can go through these things than so can I if and when they come my way. Whether it be a Holocaust Concentration Camp, Prisoner of War, Genocide, Poverty, Disease, Love, Death, etc it is still my choice how I am going to respond to that situation, God promises that He will only give me what I can handle, God also promises He will be with me always, and that if I look for happiness I will find it. In my short years I have found that my greatest laid out plans would have never given me the happiness of joy that God's detours have provided to me. I would've never planned it this way...but HE has planned it this way and that is why HE is GOD and I am only human.
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